Fantasy Football Sleepers - Mid-season Edition

Buy These Gam’s a Drink Before They Ankle

Rita Hayworth told me she needed something new once. It frightened me when I heard her say this. You don’t date a movie star, act like an ass and not have the panic all the time. Luckily, she only wanted a dress. I obliged. She still left me months later but what could I expect? I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and it’s hard to be handsome when you think your name is tomfoolery. Rita Hayworth was a calm woman and rarely cast a kitten. I was the upstart and couldn’t believe my luck. When Rita Hayworth was on my arm I was attaboying everything we walked by: humans, bushes, parked cars, aliens, dogs, mailmen, storefronts, stoops. I think Rita grew a little tired of my enthusiasm, hey, this woman was married to a Prince and Orson Wells. I was just a giggle juice drinking, gambling, wide-mouthed sports writer from St. Paul. I have no idea how I got her in the first place. But one thing I learned a long time ago is that when somebody hands you a bottle, you put on your best suit and drink it because you might be wearing a wooden kimono tomorrow.

There four names in fantasy football who haven’t taken this fantasy life for granted
Down in Jacksonville there are a couple of floor flushers emerging on the landscape. Fred Taylor is going the way of Kurt Warner and the whippersnapper on his heels is ready to take it to another level. On just 29 touches this season, Maurice Jones-Drew, has racked up 209 total yards and two touchdowns where as Taylor’s has 336 total yards and 1 touchdown on 82 touches. I’m no Philadelphia Lawyer but it looks like Maurice Jones-Drew is going to be lighting up fantasy scoreboards in the last half of the season while Fred Taylor is going to be leaving for Saturn at any second. At receiver, all of the Matt Jones sleeper talk down in Jacksonville has turned out to be a bunch of twaddle. The real sleeper down there is Reggie Williams. Williams made one of the toughest catches I’ve ever seen in the high rent district of the Washington grid iron last Sunday that made me move an inch in my chaise. Willams has become the favorite target of Bryan Leftwich and is only beginning his ankle excursion in the fantasy universe.

In New Orleans, Drew Brees is proving to be the best talent agent in town. A few years ago Brees made a star out of Antonio Gates. Brees saw something in Gates and rode him to the apex of this fantasy life. While Gates numbers have significantly declined with the departure of Brees, there is a young floor flusher down in New Orleans who Brees has single handedly discovered and taken straight to the top. Wide out Marquis Colston has wracked up 336 yards and 3 touchdowns and has emerged as on of the top young fantasy footballers on the scene. It’s never a bad idea to attach yourself to the most underrated quarterback on the planet and yes, Brees snuck him into the speakeasy in the alley but Colston is telling his own jokes and guffawing with tact.

In Chicago there is a cowboy quarterback who has a little of Dandy Don Meredith’s get up and Brett Favre gun slinging know-how. Butter and egg man Rex Grossman has wracked up over 1000 yards passing this season along with 8 touchdowns. This Johnny Jupiter is using his ray gun to beam passes all over the NFL universe. If this guy can keep his space suit on and act normal around humans, he’s going to be walking undetected, side by side, in the spotlight with the fantasy cake-eaters. Just shove it in your skull that the spotlight can burn you where you stand and if your living the fantasy life you better pay the fare because you never know when you’re going to see those gams walking away.

By: Scoop Chicos

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Scoop Chicos is the senior staff writer for fflcommish.com, the most flexible online fantasy football league service available. His original fantasy football articles are updated several times a week. You can ask him fantasy football questions in his forum, or subscribe to his fantasy football rss feed.